They say there are usually two kinds of people – those who like cats and those who like dogs. It’s not often that those collide – but it’s not shocking at the same time. Most dog people are cat friendly – unlike the cat people, they are not friendly. Unless I’m friends with them.
Growing up, I was in the ‘neither’ category. I wasn’t into cats and I was super scared of dogs. But, at the ripe age of 18, I was forced to live with the (now) cutest little Pug, named ‘Bruno’ and got attached to my best friend (Chandni)’s doggie, ‘Sugar’. It was a rough beginning – I would be scared to death every time the dogs came near.
But, cats. My, my. At the age of 27 – I’m still very scared of them. Their branding has been so – cannot blame me. But, also, you never know what they are thinking, they come and jump at you at the weirdest of times and some (very trained) cats revenge pee. That’s my reasoning. My friends, however, think otherwise.
This post was actually inspired by five very close cat-ladies who diguise themselves as ‘normal human beings’ I have in my life. Around their respective or any one else’s cat, they are a very strange specimens.
One of my best friends from high school, Sonia is a very badass woman. She’s kind and understanding but she’s the boss. A Cat Lady 4 evz, she found a stray cat, named her Potato and became very attached. She had her schedule around Potato. She would leave the window open for Potato to come during feeding time and cuddle with Sonia. They had each other’s back through heart-breaks, long days of bird chasing, tiring work and almost every evening, watched soap operas together.
“This is my cat, who is actually like my daughter, her name is Candy. You know what, I’m celebrating her birthday in like an afternoon high tea and you have to come, also here’s her IG – follow it,” said Asavari. I had known her all of a couple hours at work – and that was the introduction I got. In my head, I clicked it – cat lady. Her home is full of Candy’s toys every where – in every room and every corner. Candy is quite a character and definitely a madam with an attitude. Asavari is constantly worrying about Candy’s health and eating habits, I get scared texts when Candy is getting groomed – mostly about how she’s going to be killed in her sleep by her lovely cat. Asavari will constantly and actively argue about having the sweetest baby angel in the world who just sometimes, when pissed, revenge pees on her bed, ignores her back when ignored and has the entire Sehgal clan wrapped around her furry little finger.
Janice and her foster cat, Teddy are constantly in an endless loop of hide and seek. Janice can be often seen crouching under the bed or the couch, politely (Jan is VERY polite and patient – at least with her cat) begging Teddy to please, please come out. When he’s not hiding, Teddy find his way around Janice’s shoulder and poses comfortably for a round of selfies. He keeps her entertained in the constant pool of ‘Meow’ that they both fluently speak and cuddles her when she comes back exhausted after a long day and a longer drive home.
Georgina (or George, because her whole name is a syllable to long and she doesn’t want to be called ‘G’ or ‘Gina’) is my mentor, like my sister and a very close confidant. However, one of the new titles that she added for me in the last year is ‘Rafi-Seater’. Rafi is her cat – listen, don’t ask me breeds, because I wouldn’t know what to tell you – her son and her baby. Rafi isn’t like normal cats, he thinks he’s a mix of a monkey and a dog. He likes sniffing new people, loves the scaring the living hell out of me by jumping at me from behind the couch, over the counter, under the table and George’s lap. He’s expressive and doesn’t know when to stop ‘meowing’. I knew I was her last option when she asked me to cat sit last year. Since Rafi likes watching TV, as my own mischief, I would leave on Gilmore Girls. I can be scared or not a fan, but Rafi got her through some emotionally straining times and ate the pretty flowers I got her.
I always thought of Devinder as a dog person, but here’s proving dog people like cats too, Dee fosters a lot of cats despite her partner Mark’s oh dear god, not again expression. She names them after food things – Ginger and Mango and Apple – and fosters them until they are stronger and adopted by happy families. I remember this one time a couple of months ago, she adopted a new mum with three teeny tiny kittens for a couple of months. She turned her guest bedroom into their cove and kept them until they were stronger and all adopted. I was scared out of my life to even touch them – but that’s just me.
Now, how do you know if your friend is a cat lady?
- Check for hair on her clothes – please don’t be that embarrassing human nuisance that picks human hair and calls it for cat. No! Look for fine hair – that does not look like it feel from theirs.
- Look for what kind of IG pages they follow – the number of cat memes and videos I get sent collectively from all five of them – I can start my own page.
- Bring up an argument around what’s cuter – a baby, a puppy or a cat. 11 times out of 10 they will say cat.
- If you have been out for way too long, do they look like they might have separation anxiety? Worrying about Candy peeing in their bed or if Teddy is too lonely?
- You find them ordering clothes for cats – this one’s a real giveaway.
SWATINESS 