As the city simmers down
And the air starts to rest,
The night sky brightens up,
Roaring and pouring – no test.
Staring out the open window,
Only the sounds of the sky and our breaths,
Peace and stillness amidst the thunderstorm,
Chaotic lives amiss.
Through another window of a darkened room,
Staring blankly ahead,
Full of thought, full of sorrow,
Wistfully beautiful in her head.
March 22, 2020
Like a nagging thought
That refuses to rest,
Always on the team for love,
I’m on crossroads with myself.
Long drives with longer chats,
Green teas with minted laughs.
Stolen kisses in the theatre and garage,
You make my knees weak.
That intentional stare,
And that knowing grin,
Constantly on my mind,
I’m on crossroads with myself.
You say you are bound-
Restricted by time,
Laying down all your cards,
Telling me exactly what it’s like.
In my head,
I recite speeches,
Endless monologues,
I’m on crossroads with myself.
I repeat to no end,
Confused in vary words,
Happy, but dumbfounded,
And lost to mindless babbles.
Then on this pen and paper,
With my insistent need to tell,
I jot down all the reasons why –
I’m on crossroads with myself.
A plane of advice,
Of what Tennyson had said-
Better to have loved and lost,
Than never have loved at all.
I’ll lay out all my cards,
And finally say,
everything that’s been said-
I’ve been on crossroads with myself.
Time-bound –
I get it,
Your cards –
I have read.
You charm me when you’re around,
And enchant me when you’re not,
But I want us a name,
And I want to see you around.
I want more of you dancing
To insane peppy tunes,
I want to keep you talking,
And shaking your head like a buffoon.
I cannot be treacherous,
To my hearts beat,
Because I really like you,
It’s more than ‘seeing’ to me.
February 17, 2019
Close your eyes,
And guess how I look at you.
Shut your ears,
And hear everything I say.
Hold my hands tight,
And then let me go, too.
Let me kiss you till our knees weaken,
But, don’t build any feelings.
The curtain has pulled up –
And my eyes, they’ll say volumes.
The stage has been set,
Because my words, they will confuse you.
This charade that we are in,
This temporary haven of bliss –
Let me kiss you till our knees weaken,
But, really, babe, don’t build any feelings.
March 3, 2019
It wasn’t the prettiest night,
A little fog and chill mixed with wind,
A whirlwind-confused situation in her mind.
She stopped her car –
Just in front of her ‘happy place’.
Right in front of Waldorf Astoria,
With a view of the glittering city lights,
And the sound of the crashing waves.
Sat on the little pavement,
Hoping the chaos got some clarity.
Conversation replaying,
This isn’t what I had in mind,
This isn’t something I’m looking for,
I’m not sure what I want.
When his actions spoke otherwise.
Simmering questions,
Questioning feelings,
A tad bit bummed out,
The windy evening,
Parallel her reeling.
There was little to no traffic,
Just taxis leaving,
Tourists arriving.
From where she sat,
She was the longest there.
Shuffling between Swift and Sinatra,
Looking away with no focus,
She made mental notes and speeches,
Things she should have said,
Swooning her thoughts out with the music that played.
The music echoed her feelings,
Call it what you want to,
And I’ve got a crush on you.
Where do they go from this?
What should she do?
March 2, 2019
In a flurry of pushed trolleys,
Hurrying people, even on Valentine’s.
Surrounding a fleet of emotions,
Of glancing goodbyes, and of happy welcomes.
Her eyes searched the rushing crowd,
Landing on him – with the coffee and flowers.
For a moment, while she raced,
The airport was at standstill.
Reaching him in a warm embrace,
And everyone moved again.
February 13, 2019
In a crowded room, chatting away,
Faking smiles, shaking hands,
Your eyes meet mine,
Words needn’t be said.
A secret smile spread,
The one you knew too well,
Making your way slowly,
Every stride, with swell.
Headed to a quieter corner,
With your hand in mine,
Excused from the nonsense conversation,
Giddy with giggling joy.
In the dimly lit balcony,
Overlooking the lush gardens,
With a moment to ourselves,
A deep sigh and a deeper kiss.
February 9, 2019
As the fresh breeze hits,
And the waves start rising,
Underneath a clear night sky,
Away from the chaos.
There wasn’t any noise or other crowds,
Just the two of us,
And the car tucked away,
Next to the far away street light.
Our picnic spread was a classic-
We had pizza, a bottle of wine,
A box of disgusting chocolates,
And those crisps, I sometimes love.
Lying next to each other,
Holding hands and a little chatter,
And crashing waves, our music,
Counting the shimmering stars.
February 1, 2019
Like a familiar rush,
That of a first date,
A little nervous, mixed with anxious,
And little butterflies giddy with excitement.
Simmering hope,
And jitters of ‘this could be it’,
Shaking legs and beating heart,
She walks toward the gate.
She had known it from before –
The feelings that it strikes,
Had read about in books,
Had watched it movies all her life.
In the city of love,
With bridges and cathedrals,
Sitting next to a vintage carousel,
The Eiffel stood out.
No realistic expectations,
She had dreamt it too much-
A little rosé and cold medicine,
Newly, out of words.
It had been a long road,
There had been prayers,
Lost loves, some tears,
And a happy, hopeful girl.
A long sigh,
Under the glittering lights,
It was the Eiffel,
Beckoning her home.
February 1, 2019
In a field full of lavender,
Dressed in a pink dress,
Heart on my sleeve,
I’m dreaming.
Pulling together my thoughts on a page,
Of my happy things, and my happy place,
I’m dreaming –
In a field full of lavender,
Under a clear blue sky.
Those dandelions, and 11:11s,
Closed eyes, and sighing whispers,
Amidst a purple daze,
In my mind’s peaceful maze,
I’m dreaming.
Nestled in the spot,
As the sun starts to set –
Over the lavender fields,
A mental picture, and my page as a pensieve,
I’m happy, I’m dreaming.
January 31, 2019
Staring blankly ahead, as the discreet tapping of the rain began,
Blooming Peonies in the vase on the table by the window,
Like caught in a moment of joyous wonder, her hand in his hand.
As the sky tore up faster, pouring with lightning and thunder,
Dressed in hurried slippers, stolen kisses and gleaming gazes,
The umbrella left astray, they jumped on their feet.
Growing muddles in the park, mixed with that fresh smell of rain,
They danced around in their garden,
Adding the sounds of laughter to the chain.
In these little memories of time,
Of love, of laughter and of his contagious smile,
She quietly took a picture – one for her mind.
January 22, 2019
It’s been a while since the flowers bloomed,
Since the trees tinseling heavy with snow didn’t gloom,
And the slippery paths wear heavy with boots.
It’s been a while since she picked her pen
Since she distracted herself from distractions within,
And wrote down –what came to her mind then.
But with the weather getting warmer,
And the shooting peonies in Spring,
A whisper in her heart, she sat with her pen again.
January 18
Happiness collides,
With a little sorrow and mumbling lies.
Knew you from a time before,
Knew enough, to know you more.
You continue looking,
Straight into my eyes.
Talking in another language,
I couldn’t confide.
I still remember the softness
Of your beautiful eyes.
I miss the way you looked at me,
And how you made me smile.
All those pretty flowers,
On the day things went bad.
I also remember the day,
You left me, sad.
There’s this happiness,
And an old melancholy.
It’s like from another time,
We knew and when we met.
Formality and manners,
Greetings and words.
What have we come to-
From lovers to this?
I hug you tight,
And you hold me close.
We don’t talk of the past,
Just smile at us.
I still feel the fireworks,
The little, that are left.
I still feel the happiness,
And the sorrow, that we fell.
I cannot understand what this is,
What this meeting meant.
I have nothing bad to swear,
Only good feelings to bear.
So, one thing went wrong,
And it was a big blunder.
But, what we had,
I’d cherish forever.
SWATINESS 