As the city simmers down
And the air starts to rest,
The night sky brightens up,
Roaring and pouring – no test.
Staring out the open window,
Only the sounds of the sky and our breaths,
Peace and stillness amidst the thunderstorm,
Chaotic lives amiss.
Through another window of a darkened room,
Staring blankly ahead,
Full of thought, full of sorrow,
Wistfully beautiful in her head.
March 22, 2020
Begin at the beginning,
When those little moments –
That first date and that ridiculous coffee,
Holding hands in the very first movie
Made a new meaning.
Life, already one with a rhythm,
Now danced to a new music,
So we created more memories.
We sat underneath the stars,
And drank and danced on the bar.
In sync our minds, that though alike,
It became easier to picture,
What tomorrow be might.
We could be camping for the Aurora,
Or in Venice on a gondola.
But, tomorrow is still far,
And I wonder,
If the simplicity of everyday,
The boring dailies, and mundane chores –
Wouldn’t be a far.
We might be stuck in a dinner party,
With someone’s horrid candles,
And the jokes that aren’t funny.
Boring as some board games get,
But, you’ll snicker, and it is our secret to tell.
We will get caught up in life –
Tiring work,
And a baby that won’t quit crying.
We will be sleepless and honestly, terrified,
Tell me baby, if otherwise.
April 20, 2019
Parked on the side of the beach,
Nestled on the drivers seat –
Alone, not lonely,
and looking straight ahead.
It was show that she wanted,
Of the setting sun, pouring rain,
Continued lightening,
And rainbows on her head.
No distractions – no chaos,
Resonating her inner peace,
Even the rumbling of the car,
Was put to sleep.
It’s a strange feeling,
Unraveling your own inklings,
Unbounded by temporary setbacks,
She set herself free.
April 13, 2019
Like with everything that comes,
There’s terms and conditions,
Things that we expect,
A stance towards disappointment.
But, I’ll reach my hands out,
Even when it’s dark and we can’t see,
You’ll reach out too –
Or so, I’ll be hoping.
These crowded roads,
Leading me astray,
This blaring music,
Just doesn’t feel the same.
But, I’ll have to understand –
People are people,
And they keep changing their heart and head,
And hope, here, isn’t my friend.
The mythical corner,
That doesn’t exist,
The unsaid conversations
Now – feel flaky to begin with.
But, patience, unfortunately, is my virtue,
And I’m running out,
Because to me – for a very long minute there,
It felt like something real.
April 11, 2019
It’s funny how it begins,
Submissively at first,
Turning perversely willful,
These traitorous feelings.
Planting seeds of daisies,
Sunflowers and happy things,
Suddenly taking centerstage,
Deceitful to my brain.
But, with the change in moon,
The readings of the tarot,
Or perhaps, someone very confused,
I am back here – to begin again.
I close my eyes,
And think of a place,
Think of a time,
Think of a day.
On some floor on the stairs,
While the Eiffel glittered.
On that little edge,
Overlooking the whole of Hallstatt.
In the rush of the coaster,
That water slide and the jump.
Or in that moment,
In daze at Disneyland.
Sitting in the lavender fields,
Or the first look at my fresh peonies,
I close my eyes,
and slowly smile.
April 7, 2019
I’ve always been a little daft,
When it comes to the matters of the heart.
Like a slowly drowning raft,
Building my house of glass and cards.
I promise myself, jaded,
This time, I’ll take a step back.
Standing in the wardrobe of my feelings, raided,
Dumb-founded, I’m here again.
Surprising myself, I’m not worried,
I know I’ll start again.
My best friends, bunches of peonies,
Sea water and a little time again.
March 23, 2019
Like a nagging thought
That refuses to rest,
Always on the team for love,
I’m on crossroads with myself.
Long drives with longer chats,
Green teas with minted laughs.
Stolen kisses in the theatre and garage,
You make my knees weak.
That intentional stare,
And that knowing grin,
Constantly on my mind,
I’m on crossroads with myself.
You say you are bound-
Restricted by time,
Laying down all your cards,
Telling me exactly what it’s like.
In my head,
I recite speeches,
Endless monologues,
I’m on crossroads with myself.
I repeat to no end,
Confused in vary words,
Happy, but dumbfounded,
And lost to mindless babbles.
Then on this pen and paper,
With my insistent need to tell,
I jot down all the reasons why –
I’m on crossroads with myself.
A plane of advice,
Of what Tennyson had said-
Better to have loved and lost,
Than never have loved at all.
I’ll lay out all my cards,
And finally say,
everything that’s been said-
I’ve been on crossroads with myself.
Time-bound –
I get it,
Your cards –
I have read.
You charm me when you’re around,
And enchant me when you’re not,
But I want us a name,
And I want to see you around.
I want more of you dancing
To insane peppy tunes,
I want to keep you talking,
And shaking your head like a buffoon.
I cannot be treacherous,
To my hearts beat,
Because I really like you,
It’s more than ‘seeing’ to me.
February 17, 2019
Close your eyes,
And guess how I look at you.
Shut your ears,
And hear everything I say.
Hold my hands tight,
And then let me go, too.
Let me kiss you till our knees weaken,
But, don’t build any feelings.
The curtain has pulled up –
And my eyes, they’ll say volumes.
The stage has been set,
Because my words, they will confuse you.
This charade that we are in,
This temporary haven of bliss –
Let me kiss you till our knees weaken,
But, really, babe, don’t build any feelings.
March 3, 2019
It wasn’t the prettiest night,
A little fog and chill mixed with wind,
A whirlwind-confused situation in her mind.
She stopped her car –
Just in front of her ‘happy place’.
Right in front of Waldorf Astoria,
With a view of the glittering city lights,
And the sound of the crashing waves.
Sat on the little pavement,
Hoping the chaos got some clarity.
Conversation replaying,
This isn’t what I had in mind,
This isn’t something I’m looking for,
I’m not sure what I want.
When his actions spoke otherwise.
Simmering questions,
Questioning feelings,
A tad bit bummed out,
The windy evening,
Parallel her reeling.
There was little to no traffic,
Just taxis leaving,
Tourists arriving.
From where she sat,
She was the longest there.
Shuffling between Swift and Sinatra,
Looking away with no focus,
She made mental notes and speeches,
Things she should have said,
Swooning her thoughts out with the music that played.
The music echoed her feelings,
Call it what you want to,
And I’ve got a crush on you.
Where do they go from this?
What should she do?
March 2, 2019
In a flurry of pushed trolleys,
Hurrying people, even on Valentine’s.
Surrounding a fleet of emotions,
Of glancing goodbyes, and of happy welcomes.
Her eyes searched the rushing crowd,
Landing on him – with the coffee and flowers.
For a moment, while she raced,
The airport was at standstill.
Reaching him in a warm embrace,
And everyone moved again.
February 13, 2019
In a crowded room, chatting away,
Faking smiles, shaking hands,
Your eyes meet mine,
Words needn’t be said.
A secret smile spread,
The one you knew too well,
Making your way slowly,
Every stride, with swell.
Headed to a quieter corner,
With your hand in mine,
Excused from the nonsense conversation,
Giddy with giggling joy.
In the dimly lit balcony,
Overlooking the lush gardens,
With a moment to ourselves,
A deep sigh and a deeper kiss.
February 9, 2019
SWATINESS 