Parked on the side of the beach,
Nestled on the drivers seat –
Alone, not lonely,
and looking straight ahead.
It was show that she wanted,
Of the setting sun, pouring rain,
Continued lightening,
And rainbows on her head.
No distractions – no chaos,
Resonating her inner peace,
Even the rumbling of the car,
Was put to sleep.
It’s a strange feeling,
Unraveling your own inklings,
Unbounded by temporary setbacks,
She set herself free.
April 13, 2019
I quit driving because of bad timing:
I couldn’t brake fast enough.
‘Slow down,’ my dad would say, and I
would stop abruptly instead.
I do not have that gear.
*
When you said, ‘Let’s take it slow’,
I was already at the altar,
waiting for you.
Our car crashed before you could make it there.
– Smita Mathur
The gush of the wind,
Awoke my slumber,
I reached for my phone,
Nothing again, I trembled.
Languishing with my thoughts,
Awaiting escape to another slumber.
Whole twinkling passes,
Nothing again, I know.
My imagination runs with wings,
Thinking my phone would ring.
You’d want to come back,
I wouldn’t have to ask,
You would, you would call.
But, I told you not to.
Never to call again.
Yet, at every tick,
I hope it’s you.
The sound of my own breath,
Too loud, yet empty.
In this lull of the night,
If I could wish for you,
I might.
Hope falls like dried leaves of fall,
Nothing again, tempted to look.
Fallen daisies, hyperbole anticipations,
Empty answers and my fragmenting heart.
I told you not to, but I hope you do.
A tiny smile spreads,
As another message beeps.
Like a simple enchantment,
In words, we speak.
Some delight develops,
And, fills their sober heart.
Under the shadows of the night,
There sings a chorus in their hearts.
Like the stars that stir,
Talking as they twinkle;
The lovers, underneath,
The stars, they resemble.
Into the early lights of dawn,
Forgotten were the hours for slumber.
The smile spreads longer,
As the phone beeps again.
Beneath the moon,
That both share.
In faraway places,
Their hearts briefly despair.
In notes of silence of a lingering wait,
A ballad of affection slowly creates.
And so returns the smile,
With lures of words and a hope.
Those red red roses,
The kisses on noses,
The whispering at night,
In barely dim light.
Stealing glances
From far away,
That smiling
In that way.
Wishing morning,
Waving goodnight.
Waking up early,
To talk the night.
Those little things
That make a whole.
Those little things,
Make the stomach roll.
Those little things,
Which matter more.
Those little things,
Make us love more.
September 28, 2010
Long walks in silence
and maybe sometimes with little songs,
Time sneakily rewinds-
and reminds her what she had forcefully forgotten in mind.
A heavy sigh and she remembers-
the happy times.
Long calls into the night
and the conversations had with just blurry eyes.
The little presents that came sealed
in ribbons and kisses;
The hand-written cards,
little notes, and large.
It all comes to her mind.
Sometime’s on a long drive,
A part of a song she couldn’t despise,
and in the moments when something was very funny,
or bizarre, or just crummy;
In those early hours of dawn-
with sleep, safely, gone;
And in the late hours of many nights-
when dreams didn’t arrive;
With the colour of someone’s shirt,
and the smell of a certain scent-
Longer than just a moment-
He strayed back in (her mind).
Following the sigh,
sometimes, she smiled.
The other times her eyes twinkled,
with tears ready again to sprinkle.
A stabbing pain in the back,
and anger, and frustration followed track,
There is no going back.
Shaking her head,
and picking up pieces that fell;
She promised herself-
She won’t let her break again.
April 5, 2017
It’s been a weird week. Long, weird, hard, messy week. I’ve been trying to take my mind off things and into more writing and productivity and watching a lot of movies and chick flicks and reading.
Here are the two favourites that made me smile, or I could relate to, or just nice to hear when you’re literally in the middle of a storm.
Iris (The Holiday)
This is the perfect reminder of how our definitions of “love”might not be what actually suits us. While, the Cameron Diaz/Jude Law adventures cracked me up, Kate Winslot’s piercing words made me think. My favourite being the below:
“I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends… you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new. And you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.”
Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl)
I don’t know how she isn’t the first person mentioned in the post- because Gossip Girl is literally my favourite show. I’ve watched it religiously and felt all the love, disgust, anger, heartbreak, and perhaps some sassiness along with Blair (and often Chuck, Nate or Serena).
“Once men have tasted caviar, it baffles me how they settle for catfish.”
“The thing about new beginnings is- that they recquire something else to end.”
“I followed my heart all last year and it led me nowhere.Now, I need to follow my head.”
December has been a busy month with lots of long weekends and packed suitcases for me. The second weekend in December, I flew to Georgia- Tbilisi with my friends for a little ‘girl’s trip’.
Only 3 something hours away, it’s the perfect getaway from Dubai and a fab change of scenery. While, I did check it would be cold- about -3 degrees of it, I didn’t expect it to be freezing my mind off cold.
We landed at 2am, and had booked a driver, Lucky Bhaiya (Bhaiya is hindi for older brother) through somebody. I will tell you more about the amazing Lucky Bhaiya in the later posts.
We were staying at the Iveria Inn.. The lovely little hotel was 12 minutes away from the old town by car ( we didn’t get a chance to take the local metro! 😦 ) Since we had only booked Lucky Bhaiya from the second day, the first day he just dropped us off at the Rustaveli Square in Tbilisi.
Here begins the crazy adventure.
While I had this insanely planned itinerary, which would probably make me sound extremely anal and controlling, the wind and cold changed my plan. So, our savior- the red Hop-on, hop-off bus- came when we needed it the most- our phones were dead and our faces were frozen. On 50 lari per person, it seemed like the ideal choice.
We took the bus and kept getting off everywhere- around lunch we got off at Marjanishvili square, where wandered around for two hours and had lunch at this Indian Restaurant called, ‘Sanjha Chulha’. The food was good, the place was warm. The road was full of little stores, old theaters and very lovely people from Tbilisi.
A quick two hours later, back in the bus, we took a city tour. It was really windy- so windy that they stopped the cable cars- bummer. Our plan was to walk up the Narikala Fortress and come down in the cable car! We got off at their last stop Meydan square and started our climb to the fortress. It was around 4pm. There wasn’t exactly a sun- but it was so so windy. We took refuge in a little cafe – which was more like somebody’s living room. It was adorable and silly- the hot chocolate had little too much sugar, but the chocolate fondant cake made up for it.
We continued our hike after, reached the top of the fortress- the sight was beautiful and yes- breath-taking. Mother Georgia also made a pretty good sight. We trekked back down, stopping by, in lots of souvenir shops. We sat in the bus again around 5 something and found ourselves back on the Rustaveli Sq. Determined to finally explore the area- in spite of the wind.
We saw the Paliashvili Opera House, Freedom Monument, Art Gallery and more. St. Nicholas Church was by far, my favourite. There was an old man selling candles outside, and the inside was just beautiful. Full of people praying, lighting candles, just sitting on benches in solace and peace. It felt pea
There was an old man selling candles outside, and the inside was just beautiful. Full of people praying, lighting candles, just sitting on benches in solace and peace. It felt peaceful. I’d recently been full of conflicting emotions and thoughts, but in those 15 minutes or longer we were there, everything was calm.
Once outside, we took a cab to Peace Bridge (5 Lari). The Peace Bridge stands out in Tbilisi. Where everything in the city is a part of their history or has an essence of the history, this bridge stands like out with its modern design. It was already dark, so the bridge was lit up in pink and colours.
We walked back to the Meydan square where we bought some more souvenirs and ate at this little Georgian restaurant that had two live singers with a ukelele. More laughter ensued at dinner as we clearly didn’t understand our own order. See, I’m vegetarian and somewhat of a picky eater (I said somewhat!). So we ordered Khachapuri, something with Chicken for the other two, and a margarita pizza to be on the safe side. So, when khachapuri arrived, we assumed it’s their way of doing pizza. Yep. So, I called the nice server and asked him to cancel our khachapuri because the portions were really big. He looked startled and told us he can’t and ran into the kitchen. We were confused (see, I forget to say that the food was taking its sweet time in coming out!). He came out with this giant margarita pizza. We all felt extremely stupid, quietly ate as much as we could and wrapped up the rest.
We got to the hotel- silly and sound. Day 1 was an adventure. Some pictures below!
It’s been a very long time since I thought to write a poem crossed my mind – and for somebody who used to write a poem every day- its been a very long block. I know this poem isn’t going to be close to how I used to write before, but what it could be, hopefully, is a start to writing poems again. Here goes:
In a loud chatter, between conversations,
Within a noisy room, full of people-
For a moment then,
Your thought skips my mind.
A plastered smile, with a nodding head,
Chatting away, as you would have said,
Like in every moment now,
Only your thoughts stay behind.
I have tried- and failed- and tried,
But my mind wanders, and your thought resides.
It wasn’t going to be easy,
But, I didn’t decipher it this hard.
In a silent void, no chatter, no voice,
Not necessarily with four walls, but my solace,
For a moment then,
I hope you skip my mind.
A heavy heart, and head hung low,
Listening to music, and my heart beats grow,
Like in every moment now,
I wished you had stayed behind.
SWATINESS 