I battle many monsters in my head,
each a Hydra, Medusa.
I can’t wrap my head
around the heads
to be beheaded
without turning to stone.
Nietzsche lied.
We have gazed into the abyss long enough.
and she has never
not even once
gazed back.
I just binge watched Gilmore Girls and in less than a month- and this is something I’m very proud of- finished the entire series. Yes, that’s right. I watched 7 seasons and the Year in Life Netflix special and I finished it all- in less than a month.
There were several things I enjoyed about the show- Kelly Bishop (Emily Gilmore) being my favorite. There were several moments when all I wanted was to stop watching it, I’m thinking Season 3 between Jess and Dean and Dean and Jess (if you are asking, I was Team Dean all the way- but that Logan fellow was pretty much meant to be). Although, in the revival, I was all about Team Jess. Never thought that would happen- but he’s turned out to be a pretty amazing dude, I would say. Anywhooo. 18 important life lessons I learned from Gilmore Girls:
As somebody who talks really fast- I really enjoyed watching Lorelei ramble on and on and on.
It’s been a weird week. Long, weird, hard, messy week. I’ve been trying to take my mind off things and into more writing and productivity and watching a lot of movies and chick flicks and reading.
Here are the two favourites that made me smile, or I could relate to, or just nice to hear when you’re literally in the middle of a storm.
Iris (The Holiday)
This is the perfect reminder of how our definitions of “love”might not be what actually suits us. While, the Cameron Diaz/Jude Law adventures cracked me up, Kate Winslot’s piercing words made me think. My favourite being the below:
“I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends… you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new. And you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.”
Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl)
I don’t know how she isn’t the first person mentioned in the post- because Gossip Girl is literally my favourite show. I’ve watched it religiously and felt all the love, disgust, anger, heartbreak, and perhaps some sassiness along with Blair (and often Chuck, Nate or Serena).
“Once men have tasted caviar, it baffles me how they settle for catfish.”
“The thing about new beginnings is- that they recquire something else to end.”
“I followed my heart all last year and it led me nowhere.Now, I need to follow my head.”
When Taylor Swift wrote ‘Blank Space’ (I got a blank space, baa-by, and I’d write your name), she was really writing about adulthood. Well, technically, she was writing about how relationships have become. Well, most relationships. Relationships have had some altering with their meaning. I’m speaking of romantic relationships and real ones here. But, my 7 year old neighbour just informed me that his relationship is very serious and his 7 year old girlfriend is very pretty and gets him lots of candies and gives him a sticker everyday.
But, this whimsical chatter isn’t about 7 year olds and their relationships. It’s about how adulthood has framed out. As a child, I’ve always fantasized about growing up and becoming an adult. As an adult of some kind, I still fantasize about the same. I keep waiting for the light of adulthood to shine my way to walk into. Almost like being Jennifer Garner’s character from 13 going 30. That I’m a 22 year old child who will magically one bright morning transform into a 22 year old adult. In all my fantasies, my mind and wise-ness ages, but never me.
However, I have been informed, adulthood as arrived. Nobody threw me a party to tell me. It just creeps into your life and one day you wake up an adult. Like 13 going 30. Except maybe it would be more like 29 going 30. Hasn’t happened yet, folks.
Oh, so what got me starting with this chatter? I was doing the dishes while my earphones blared with some Taylor Swift (among other songs) and ‘Blank Space’ came on. So, obviously, I decided to sing along and dance a little. When the lyrics ‘Baby, I’m a Nightmare dressed like a Daydream’ came on, GROWING UP came to my mind. (And then I sang- ‘I Wish I Neveeeeeeeer Grew Up’, also Tay-Tay). Then I realized, all our lives we keep waiting for the future, when I have that, when I do that, when I go there. There is always a longing for the future. Similarly, there is a longing for the adulthood, whatever that pie is.
Things were much different when we were children (some 15 years ago). Adults, at that time, didn’t do what we do. Oh, they were just as messed up as us, but it was just different. But, change is the only constant, and with our adulthood, change indeed has come. Adulthood, today, is much different. Maybe because the dream and the reality didn’t collide it raised a conflict of another kind.
Adulthood, in the simplest of definitions, is a nightmare dressed like a day-dream. (Although, smashing a vintage car or a tree repeatedly would be very excellent stress buster.
SWATINESS 