For Granted

The luxury of having and acting on an opinion or any notion is all that makes a difference. In the current times, with the unrequited claim of choosing, we are stuck indoors, indefinitely. In any other scenario, sleeping for a couple of days and watching time actually slow down would have been ideal – had it been a choice.

Last night, as I started out my window watching the lightening shake the city and the rain pour down – realization of how for granted I’ve taken things deemed upon my mind. After what seemed an internal debate for an hour, my subconscious concluded that the luxury of having a choice makes all the difference, just as I drifted off to slumber.

The option of doing nothing as opposed to having a day full of things as opposed to something and some nothings, that is what made all the difference. Even if in my mind I wanted to enjoy the luxury of doing nothing. Today, I have that opportunity – but I can’t bring myself to take afternoon naps that I so fondly love, or stay up until 3 AM watching silly movies and shows. It isn’t an option anymore – it’s the reality I’m caught up in. Time is slowing down, maybe we should too?

I hope as we come out of this stillness (and hope that it’s soon), we realize the things we have taken for granted – fresh hair, toes full of sand, the smell of fresh flowers, the fireworks in the sky, favourite meals in that corner restaurant, a crowded concert and the noises of the daily that are now very low.

I hope we remember the activities we have partaken, hope our wardrobes remain organized, our bookshelves full of life and let the dust never settle – on the water paints and the brushes.

‘Suraj Hua Maddham’ and Some Revelations

As every new year begins, everyone has new resolutions. My resolutions aren’t dependent on the new year, but rather on how far away my birthday is (February 23rd). I get into the full swing to get working on my birthday body roughly about in September/October.

In the gist of that, as Taylor Swift dropped her new album in November 2017, you cannot possibly imagine my excitement to go running listening to the album. It’s my jam. So, come January 2nd, I’m still running, still listening to Reputation. And just as my pace starts to differ and slow down, ‘Dress‘ comes on. It HAS to be the sexiest song on the album.

To recap, my exact emotions when I first heard the song were:

OH.MY.GOD.

This is a very, very sexy song. With an emotional touch. I am at a serious loss for words. I feel like this should be in 50 Shades of Grey.

“All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting.”

As the lyrics mooned on, with all the “ah-ah-ah-aaaaahs”, it got me thinking – this song obviously makes me feel a lot of things. Things that another PR girl (read: Samantha Jones from SATC) will proudly raise a toast to. But, while this does make me “feel” a lot, there are more songs that probably have the same effect.

Taking my thought process as a freaky clue, ‘Suraj Hua Maddham’ from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham starts to play, making me blush to my cheeks and thanking my stars for it being dark on my track.

It was the year 2001, and I was 8 years old (if you are doing the math, I’m 24 for another month and 21 days), when I first heard/saw the song. And since then, it’s been my ultimate love song. Till date, if I hear the song, I automatically start to blush. In that Egyptian backdrop with those plain effortless sarees and Shah Rukh Khan’s lusty looks, I had my “awakening”.

As a vain kid who didn’t know what sex was, I assumed, when people went on honeymoon – mostly in Switzerland or Egypt, they danced and ran to each other in slow motions and BAM, that was it. I was proven very, very wrong at 12 when I read my first ever Jude Deveraux. But, that’s a story for another time.

So today evening, as I walked back home, blushing pink with a huge cheeky smile plastered on my face from just listening to two songs, it occurred to be – I can’t be the only one who has a few songs like these – the kind that would make one blush in a busy room.

I can’t, right? 

 

Silences

I battle many monsters in my head,
each a Hydra, Medusa.
I can’t wrap my head
around the heads
to be beheaded
without turning to stone.

Nietzsche lied.
We have gazed into the abyss long enough.
and she has never
not even once
gazed back.

Happiness Collides

Happiness collides,
With a little sorrow and mumbling lies.
Knew you from a time before,
Knew enough, to know you more.
You continue looking,
Straight into my eyes.
Talking in another language,
I couldn’t confide.

I still remember the softness
Of your beautiful eyes.
I miss the way you looked at me,
And how you made me smile.
All those pretty flowers,
On the day things went bad.
I also remember the day,
You left me, sad.

There’s this happiness,
And an old melancholy.
It’s like from another time,
We knew and when we met.
Formality and manners,
Greetings and words.
What have we come to-
From lovers to this?

I hug you tight,
And you hold me close.
We don’t talk of the past,
Just smile at us.
I still feel the fireworks,
The little, that are left.
I still feel the happiness,
And the sorrow, that we fell.

I cannot understand what this is,
What this meeting meant.
I have nothing bad to swear,
Only good feelings to bear.
So, one thing went wrong,
And it was a big blunder.
But, what we had,
I’d cherish forever.