The Eiffel

Like a familiar rush,
That of a first date,
A little nervous, mixed with anxious,
And little butterflies giddy with excitement.
Simmering hope,
And jitters of ‘this could be it’,
Shaking legs and beating heart,
She walks toward the gate.

She had known it from before –
The feelings that it strikes,
Had read about in books,
Had watched it movies all her life.
In the city of love,
With bridges and cathedrals,
Sitting next to a vintage carousel,
The Eiffel stood out.

No realistic expectations,
She had dreamt it too much-
A little rosé and cold medicine,
Newly, out of words.
It had been a long road,
There had been prayers,
Lost loves, some tears,
And a happy, hopeful girl.

A long sigh,
Under the glittering lights,
It was the Eiffel,
Beckoning her home.

February 1, 2019

Lavender Field

In a field full of lavender,
Dressed in a pink dress,
Heart on my sleeve,
I’m dreaming.

Pulling together my thoughts on a page,
Of my happy things, and my happy place,
I’m dreaming –
In a field full of lavender,
Under a clear blue sky.

Those dandelions, and 11:11s,
Closed eyes, and sighing whispers,
Amidst a purple daze,
In my mind’s peaceful maze,
I’m dreaming.

Nestled in the spot,
As the sun starts to set –
Over the lavender fields,
A mental picture, and my page as a pensieve,
I’m happy, I’m dreaming.

January 31, 2019

Tapping of the Rain

Staring blankly ahead, as the discreet tapping of the rain began,
Blooming Peonies in the vase on the table by the window,
Like caught in a moment of joyous wonder, her hand in his hand.

As the sky tore up faster, pouring with lightning and thunder,
Dressed in hurried slippers, stolen kisses and gleaming gazes,
The umbrella left astray, they jumped on their feet.

Growing muddles in the park, mixed with that fresh smell of rain,
They danced around in their garden,
Adding the sounds of laughter to the chain.

In these little memories of time,
Of love, of laughter and of his contagious smile,
She quietly took a picture – one for her mind.

January 22, 2019

Springtime Flowers

It’s been a while since the flowers bloomed,
Since the trees tinseling heavy with snow didn’t gloom,
And the slippery paths wear heavy with boots.

It’s been a while since she picked her pen
Since she distracted herself from distractions within,
And wrote down –what came to her mind then.

But with the weather getting warmer,
And the shooting peonies in Spring,
A whisper in her heart, she sat with her pen again.

January 18

Road Rage

I quit driving because of bad timing:
I couldn’t brake fast enough.
‘Slow down,’ my dad would say, and I
would stop abruptly instead.
I do not have that gear.

*

When you said, ‘Let’s take it slow’,
I was already at the altar,
waiting for you.

Our car crashed before you could make it there.

– Smita Mathur

Here’s Every Emotion I Experienced Listening to Taylor Swift’s Reputation Album

I originally wrote this article for PopSugar Middle East .

1

It was just around when the school was starting after the summer, and I heard ‘Tim McGraw” in 2006. Although I didn’t know who Tim McGraw was (to add to my shame, I actually ended up really liking his songs), I was in love with this description of a guy. Just a boy in a Chevy truck, the song took my heart and I became a proud Swifty.

Since then, my very limited music taste has been largely influenced by Taylor Swift. So, after listenin

g to 1989 on a repeat for the past three years. I was overjoyed when she announced ‘Reputation’, but I worried she might have strayed far away from the kind of music I loved her for.

As I listen to the entire Reputation album for the next 56 minutes, join me on my very emotional journey through her sixth album.

2

  1. “… Ready for It”

3

The first time I heard “…Ready for it”, I wasn’t ready for it. Far from it. But, this song really sets the scene for what this album is really going to be, with Taylor literally clearing her throat before giving her narrative on every accusation, rumour, conversation that has surrounded her for the past 2-something years.

This song gives me a kind of rush and push that I need, something like “I can do this”, that definitely helped when I went running. In the first hearing, it sounds very much unlike her previous music, but as it plays on repeat, I hear more and more of her regular style.

I’m still not entirely sure about the rapping bit, but, I’m not hating it. Kind of goes with the song, you know.

4

 

  1. “End Game”

5

As someone who is still humming ‘Everything Has Changed’, when I saw Ed Sheeran’s name on the song, I was excepting a love song, and that is definitely not what we got. But, almost instantly, I was nodding my head along with the lyrics. It’s a very “sweet” haters song, where she knows people say all these things, but she doesn’t want to bother too much about it, and just wants to ‘bury’ and be “his” endgame.

 

 

3. “I Did Something Bad”

I’m just going to be dancing on this the whole week, the bop on this song is AMAZING! This should have REALLY been the first song on the album, it’s so gooooood! All the lyrics are quote-able, I can imagine posting them one by one on my Instagram.

6

I can’t believe she actually said “shit” in the song. You wouldn’t want to mess with this Taylor.

“They’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one

They got their pitchforks and proof, their receipts and reasons” BAM!

  1. “Don’t Blame Me”

7

I have real goosebumps and just surfaces every single feeling that has made me feel like crap ever, and heals me. The lyrics, the music, and chorus are perfectly dark and definitely appeal to my darker moods.

  1. “Delicate”

The name of the song made me feel like it was going to be a love song, and this, kind of, was.   She’s intensifying the unconditional love that we all have dreamt about but mixed with a “potion” of reality. “My Reputation’s never been worse, so you must like me for me”. The lyrics expose her innermost feelings of anxiety and love of a new relationship, unrequested attention and unfortunate “reputation” that she seems to have gathered.

8

  1. “Look What You Made Me Do”

I’ll be honest, I didn’t love this song too much, but I did scream when I saw the video, but it was GENIUS! It was so clever, as were the lyrics and video’s screenplay. It did eventually grew on me and made me realize that something like this was necessary to create a buzz for the album and to show that this time, Taylor is coming in for some serious Reputation damage (and salvation!)

9

 

  1. “So It Goes…”

I like when she whispers “One, two, three,”, but it doesn’t stand out on the first listen to me. Remember “Treacherous”, this is a darker, more scandalous version of the song!

10

  1. “Gorgeous”

It’s super-catchy, but it’s not a favourite song of hers or this album. It sums up all the feelings of unrequited love and confusion. I’m hoping it grows on me.

11

  1. “Getaway Car”

12

Okay, I loved it. I felt a little bad for whoever she was talking about in this song, although some say this might be the one about Tom Hiddleston. In my head, I’m directing the video for this song, this is the PERFECT break-up song to every summer fling ever. The lyrics, the song, her voice – it’s definitely one of my favourites.

  1. “King of my Heart”

13

Taylor Swift might be the American Queen, and definitely the queen of lyrics. The music isn’t something that is very me, but the song is summing up every emotion you go through when you are falling in love, where on one hand you’re scared of being run down, and on the other can’t help how head over heels you feel.

  1. “Dancing with our Hands Tied”

14

This song is so visual, you can imagine all the lyrics happening while you’re listening to it. This is something I’ll probably be dancing and weeping to in the evening in the living room. All the songs on this album feel like a more-mature-older sister of every album she’s ever produced.

  1. “Dress”

15

OH.MY.GOD.

This is a very, very sexy song. With an emotional touch. I am at a serious loss for words. I feel like this should be in 50 Shades of Grey.

“All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting.”

16

  1. “This is why we can’t have Nice things”

17

You thought ‘Bad Blood’ was throwing shade? Oh, babe, it’s got nothing on this one. This is CATCHY has hell, fun, funny and just simply amazing. When she started laughing after saying she should “forgive”, I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL OR HOW TO STOP SCREAMING! This is my anthem. To all my haters, and to you, forgiveness is a nice thing!

  1. “Call it What You Want”

18

I loved how this came right after “This is why we can’t have Nice things”, it was the perfect transition. It’s definitely one for long walks in the night and some serious soul-calming music. This is Taylor telling you that even through all her hard times, she’s fine, she’s happy, she’s better than she’s ever been. This song makes me feel secure, cosy and content. And that’s not an easy feeling to come to.

“Nobody’s heard from me for months, I’m doing better than I ever was”

15. “ New Year’s Day”

19

This is the classic Taylor Swift I came for. It’s a beautiful ending to the album. This is the old Taylor, who I’m VERY happy isn’t dead. I’m going to go weep now.

20

 

Silences

I battle many monsters in my head,
each a Hydra, Medusa.
I can’t wrap my head
around the heads
to be beheaded
without turning to stone.

Nietzsche lied.
We have gazed into the abyss long enough.
and she has never
not even once
gazed back.

Happiness Collides

Happiness collides,
With a little sorrow and mumbling lies.
Knew you from a time before,
Knew enough, to know you more.
You continue looking,
Straight into my eyes.
Talking in another language,
I couldn’t confide.

I still remember the softness
Of your beautiful eyes.
I miss the way you looked at me,
And how you made me smile.
All those pretty flowers,
On the day things went bad.
I also remember the day,
You left me, sad.

There’s this happiness,
And an old melancholy.
It’s like from another time,
We knew and when we met.
Formality and manners,
Greetings and words.
What have we come to-
From lovers to this?

I hug you tight,
And you hold me close.
We don’t talk of the past,
Just smile at us.
I still feel the fireworks,
The little, that are left.
I still feel the happiness,
And the sorrow, that we fell.

I cannot understand what this is,
What this meeting meant.
I have nothing bad to swear,
Only good feelings to bear.
So, one thing went wrong,
And it was a big blunder.
But, what we had,
I’d cherish forever.

Hope, you.

The gush of the wind,
Awoke my slumber,
I reached for my phone,
Nothing again, I trembled.
Languishing with my thoughts,
Awaiting escape to another slumber.

Whole twinkling passes,
Nothing again, I know.
My imagination runs with wings,
Thinking my phone would ring.
You’d want to come back,
I wouldn’t have to ask,
You would, you would call.

But, I told you not to.
Never to call again.
Yet, at every tick,
I hope it’s you.

The sound of my own breath,
Too loud, yet empty.
In this lull of the night,
If I could wish for you,
I might.
Hope falls like dried leaves of fall,
Nothing again, tempted to look.
Fallen daisies, hyperbole anticipations,
Empty answers and my fragmenting heart.
I told you not to, but I hope you do.

Write Away

So, I have a friend who doesn’t think her writing is good enough. And another friend who thinks her writing isn’t good enough And another friend… well, you get the point. So, the purpose of this post is how to make you realise that your writing is less shitty than you think it is (because I have just been called a chill advice dispenser, and I take my duties seriously). Make sure you’ve got the ingredients right, and don’t be too harsh on yourself!
1. PRACTICE
See, practising writing all genres is extremely important. There is always room for improvement when you write, and if there are nitty-gritties in your writing that bother you, you can always resolve them through practice.
2. FEEL YOUR GENRE
I have friends who believe that practising writing engenders talent. I disagree. I feel like we’re all formed from our experiences and our writing styles reflect that. Some people are more comfortable writing humour, some are more inclined to write murder mysteries, some can write funny murder mysteries. Through practice, you need to figure out what your genre is (or are, if you have multiple genres that you can write).

 

3. RECONCILIATION
The genre you feel might not always correspond to what you’re interested in. For example, I am interested in psychological thrillers but I can’t write them–they’re not my genre. On the other hand, Indian marriage scene is not something I’m interested in, but I can write it well enough (I guess). So yeah, you need to find a way to reconcile what you’re interested in and the genre(s) you can write.

4. EUREKA MOMENTS
Writing is not always a thing you can do at will. It’s like food–if you force it too much, it comes out like crap. While I believe that writing is something that you have to work for, I also believe that there are moments of inspiration that you have that ease the process of writing (in the food metaphor, these moments of inspiration are like water).

5. START WITH THE BASICS
Strengthen your plot-making skills, characterization, descriptions, etc. to feel better about your writing.

6. STOP OVER-ANALYSING YOUR WRITING.

7. ASK FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S HONEST INPUT.
This will only make your writing better, even if your pride takes a thrashing. It hurts (a lot), but it helps you grow.

Happy writing!
(Also, if you guys want me to look over your writing, just message the page on Facebook!)

Ouroboros

I can’t watch you lounging in your chair
in only a vest and boxer shorts
and not feel like
this is it.
 
I am made of desire
and it swallows me whole.
It never ends. 
 
 

Eiffel Tower in others’ Instagram Pictures

It’s easy to find myself dreaming of Paris by just looking at my Instagram quickly when I’m taking a break from my laptop at work. So, while I’m taking a break and wanderlusting of Paris, come on a quick inspirational journey to the Eiffel Tower with me.

 

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La vie en rose #kissinparis #kissinpariscom

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